Update time!

Hey! Here's an update to this past week. It's been so crazy! I had a YCL retreat where I went to go plan some stuff for Girl's Camp. That was a lot of fun, even with the girls trying to take away my phone while I was talking to Andrew...at midnight. Haha. But yeah, it was a fun night. And then on Thursday till Saturday I was on Trek which was crazy fun but also hard. I had to pull a handcart for 3 days! It was insane! But really it was so worth it and it really was fun. My trek family was amazing and I will never forget them. They taught me a lot and I learned a lot about myself. I even learned things I want to do to be a better person and everything. It really was a great week. It was nice yesterday that I got to talk to Andrew again for the first time in like 3 days. Even though that's not a long time, I still missed him and it was great to talk to him, even though I couldn't talk too long cuz I got my phone taken away (which happens quite often). But still, yeah it was good to talk to him. He's been off on vacation as well so he and I haven't been able to talk too much lately, or see each other at all lately. But I can't wait to see him when he comes home. :)
Tomorrow one of my best friends wants to take me to the Parade of Homes so we'll see. I've never been, always heard of it, and wanted to go, but never actually have. So it will be fun, this summer I've just been doing stuff I've never done before. It really has been a great summer so far, not just because Andrew has made it even that much better, but really it has been an amazing summer. :D Wednesday I finally get to see my bestie for like the first time this summer! I cannot wait!!! I don't get a lot of time with her this summer as I thought I would because she's going out to see her dad. So, yeah, but she and I will have fun on Wednesday and a lot of fun when she gets back! :)
That's pretty much been my week. Oh and that whole huge thing that I talked about last post, I'm learning to get over it. I can't let it take over my life, and I plan not to let him get to me. I don't want him to ruin my life, so I'm learning to just be like a duck (water rolling off a duck) and I can honestly say, it's a whole lot better now. I really am okay about the whole thing now and really happy still. It gets even better everyday! So yeah. Hope you guys have a great week! I'll post something later this week or early next week! Love ya'll! :D

The truth...

This week. Wow. It's seriously has been the best week of my life, and really I do have to say a lot of the reason why it's been so great is because of Andrew (who I've mentioned the past couple posts). He has made my day everyday this week and yesterday was the best. I went to Summer Fest and he and I went and that was a lot of fun. Can I say I have never seen a guy pull off a purple blanket like him. Haha. I saw a lot of my friends in the parade and it was fun. Also, it was my half birthday so it was even better! Haha. :D

Anyways, yeah this week has been great. Yesterday I had the time of my life. I will be going off on a little rant here just because I have to get it out. After I came home from Summer Fest, I went to check my Facebook and well was shocked when somebody messaged me, I could already tell they were upset with me. See at my school we had ballroom tryouts and the ballroom coach had told me that a certain person wasn't going to make team, I didn't tell this person because I didn't want to hurt them. I did tell my friend though and possibly two other people could have heard because they were in the room at the same time. I don't know if they heard, but still. He found out that I knew something about why he didn't make team and was upset for telling my friend. Well this person that didn't make team, got really mad at my friend earlier too (the one I had told about the ballroom secret thing). This isn't just any friend of mine though, she's my best friend. This guy that didn't make ballroom team was saying stuff to my best friend and really it was uncalled for. I understand that she said things too, but it doesn't give him any right to tell me and her what she deserves. Like I've said before, we aren't here to judge people, we can judge their works, but not their personality. Everybody is different, everybody has a reason to why they are the way they are and that doesn't give you the right to tear them apart about it. Not only was he saying stuff about my best friend, he was saying stuff about me, and Andrew. Yes, I'm upset at the things he said to me, but really I'm more upset that he finds it okay to call people names, say stuff about two of the most important people in my life. I don't care if you call me names, threaten me, whatever, but when it comes to my friends you can bet I'll do something about it. They don't deserve it at all. Maybe I do, but no, you don't have to bring them into it. And threatening people isn't right either. I don't care who you are, but really it's not. It's rude, disrespectful and NOBODY should be threatened or blackmailed. I'm tired of people acting like they like me or whatever, I don't need your pity. I need real friends, real people. Being fake hurts not only you but others. I know. I've been there. I used to act fake myself. I hated it, and I'm ashamed of the way I was. I was rude to some people who meant a lot to me and I hurt a lot of people. I hurt myself. There is no reward in being fake. You can only lose. You lose some friends, and a lot more. I know and like I said, I really am ashamed of how I was when I acted like a fake. 

Sorry but this part I will say is directed towards a specific person:

People don't need other people who are just going to be rude to others. I don't need to hear from people that you think I'm heartless, or that I don't care about other people's feelings. You have no idea what I've had to go through. My life has not been easy, and I don't expect it to be, but I don't need people reminding me I'm not perfect. I hardly think highly of myself. I already know I'm not the best. I already know I have faults and I don't need people who are just going to keep pointing them out. I'm sorry we can't all be as perfect as you. I'm sorry I didn't "care" as much as you wanted me to. You can't force how I feel. I am my own person. I'm not perfect. I fail, a lot. I'm not confident in my talents...I hardly even call them talents. I hate having people ask me what my talents are because I feel like I'm not that talented. I may not be the best person, but yes I do care about people. I care about people because even though I was fake once and was a HUGE jerk, I still had people who would care about me and love me anyways. They are the reason why I'm still here. They kept me going. I want to pay them back by doing the same for others. I hate seeing people make fun of others or say things about other people they don't even know at all. I hate it. I may not agree with what everybody does, but I don't know what they are going through and I can't just judge them personally. That is not my job, and it's not yours either. Stop judging people. It's rude, and it's pointless. You lose chances by judging others. I've learned that myself. One of my best friends, if I had judged them the way you have judged me I would have never had her as my friend. Like I've said to you, I'm not perfect, but I try. I try to be better than I was the day before. I try to go through life happier than how I really feel. I try to include others. I try. And you telling me and pointing out my flaws, that's not helping. It won't help you and it's not going to help me. People don't need to hear that you think they aren't perfect. There is a better way to help them strive to be a better person. Pointing out flaws is not one of them!

Okay, sorry...I know this is a very personal post but I really had to get it out there. Like I said this week has been great. I only had just one rough spot and you know even though it was bad, I'm okay. I know who my real friends are. I know my strengths and I know what I can handle. As hurt as I was to hear you try to blackmail me, I'm not going to let it take over me. I have better things to do. I have a life and I'm trying to live it. Once again, I know this was a very personal post, but I really can't just keep this inside. Thanks for reading it, and please do not treat others the way you think they deserve to be treated. Just treat them kindly, treat them better than you want to be treated. You don't have to like what they do, but you should still respect them. Just treat them nice, be a friend still. I want to just real quick thank those in my life that have done just that. Those who have stuck with me even with all my faults. Those who have lifted me, those who have helped me feel better, and those who have been a friend when I've needed one most. You all are amazing and I feel like I'm in debt to you guys. Thank you for being a person I can rely on. :)

Summer has begun!

Hey guys this week I've been out of school officially like for the whole week and it's been great. Really, I could not have asked for a better week so far and I hope it just keeps getting better. This week started off with celebrating my younger sister's birthday which was fun and all. One downside was that I wasn't feeling too well, but I thought it was nothing so I didn't really care. Monday was just great, I didn't do much but the little things is what made it so great. First of all, somebody special was texting me and it really made my day. I also got to go on a walk with my friend April and it was so nice just to talk and catch up with each other. That night Andrew (who I mentioned last post) and I decided to see who out of us would be able to stay up the longest. First off...I won. Second, I didn't get to bed till past 6:40 (that was the time the last time I checked the clock. haha) so I ended up with about 4 hours of sleep, and then I started feeling even more sick. Tuesday some of my friends took me to go see The Avengers which was awesome and I loved it! That was great, and also I still got to text with that person I mentioned earlier. :D Wednesday I had mutual and that was just the best! I feel kind of bad because me and one of the girls, Ari, we were tossing water balloons with towels and trying to catch those being tossed to us. Only I was texting that mentioned person again. Haha and we dropped a lot of the water balloons. I also ended up with the left side of me wet and it was freezing. It just happened to be windy that day too so I was even more cold. Today hasn't particularly been amazing but really the little moments have made it great. I got done sewing two skirts today for my Trek activity...which for those of you who already know me, you know how I hate to sew and so that was a HUGE accomplishment. Oh and I was running lots of errands and I babysat...which was fun. I don't have a plan for tomorrow, but the whole week has been like that and it's been great, so I'm not too worried. And really you just need a positive attitude to make it great, which is exactly what I've been doing these past few days. I have been having the time of my life and I really can't thank all my friends enough. And Andrew...you are amazing and have made me the happiest girl this past week! ;)

Life updated

     Oh my, sorry I haven't kept up with this blog, I'm going to try to do better now that school is out. Well I'll just recap everything that has happened since the last post. That 'misfit' I had with my friend, well it didn't really turn out the way I thought it would. She and I didn't talk for over a month and well things are better now, but it's still a work in progress.
     Okay so last time I mention how I was given the opportunity to be my old director's Assistant Director. Well, I accepted it, and loved it. I learned A TON! Since it was my first actual play that I was a part of, I really did learn a lot, and my cast taught me so much as well. I was very grateful, and still am very grateful that I was given that opportunity. I think it happened for a reason, it really helped me with my auditions for One Acts (I'll get to that soon). I had such an amazing cast and they really did what they could to make the show great. Which is exactly what they did. It turned out amazing. All my hard work, and their hard work definitely paid off. Even when one of the door knobs fell off one of their performing nights, they did a great job making it seem like it was scripted. We had people saying they thought it was in the play and it was their favorite part. Haha. It was amazing. So, I'm so proud of what they did and how it all turned out.
     Okay so about the One Acts. My school for their drama class, has the seniors each direct their own One Act for our little One Act Festival. I wasn't planing on trying out since I didn't take Drama this year, but I do want to take it next year. In fact, since I wanted to be with my friends I would have to skip a year of Drama. So, I asked the Drama teacher if I could skip Drama 2 and take Drama 3. He said for me to try out for the One Acts and then he would see. At this time I was doing my other show that I was directing and it really helped for my auditions. I had to sometimes play different characters when people couldn't make it to rehearsals, so I got a lot of practice. So anyways, I tried out and I was put into one of my most favorite people, Bonnie Stowell's One Act, 'An Angel's Pocket Watch.' My character was a teenage snob, Rachel. I loved it though. Haha. It was great acting like a snotty girl. I learned even more from One Acts then I did from being an Assistant Director. I had a blast with it too. Everybody in my One Act was great and I love them all to death! Really quickly I just want to say thanks to Megan, Billy, Brandon, Emily, Ryan, and of course my Director, Bonnie. You guys are the best and I love you all! Thanks for everything and for teaching me so much as well as being a great friend. I will miss you Billy, Brandon and Bonnie! You all really are amazing! Thanks. Okay...I'm done with that. Haha. Anyways, we did really good and I thought it turned out really good. I mean I think back still and yeah I'm proud of how it ended up, but of course there are still things I wish I could have done. But really, I'm happy with how it turned out and I couldn't have asked for a better One Act experience for my first one. We got in a three-way tie for Judge's Choice of Best One Act. I also, was able to skip Drama 2 and I will be able to take Drama 3. Yay! :D
     Last month near the beginning of May, my sister Heather went to the MTC for her mission. She was called to Richmond, Virginia. It's so exciting and I'm really happy for her. I really miss her, but I am really excited for her. She just left to Virginia this last Wednesday and arrived safe and sound. I can't wait to hear about how it is there and I hope she'll have loads of fun. Love ya Heather!
     So, this year has definitely been a huge roller coaster. It's had some really good moments, and some horrible ones. I've had a lot of fun, and I've had a lot of time where I was hurt. I've learned more about myself, things I can handle, people I can trust, people who mean more to me than I thought, how I can handle things, what I can do, what I can't. It's all been a huge life lesson this year. I have learned more about myself this year than I have any other year. I cannot believe some of the things I have gone through and held on. Really quick, I really want to say thank you to all my friends who have stuck by me this year. Especially Sydney, Halle, and of course Andrew. :) You all are amazing and have helped me more than you can ever imagine. You three have been there for me the most this year. Thank you. There are lots of other people who have helped me this year and I thank you all too. Especially Oquendo. You really have been a great help. Thank you guys. Thank you everybody who has stuck by me this year even though it's been a rough one. I love and care for you all. Thank you! Oh and I really quick want to thank you April for being a great example for me and for also giving me so many rides this year. You are seriously amazing! You really have set such a great example and I look up to you. Your strength is amazing and that's part of the reason why I've been able to hold on. Thank you to everybody I've mentioned, like I've said, you guys are amazing. Thank you to everybody I haven't mentioned too. I really have been blessed with great friends and I've been so grateful for it, especially this year. :D
     I've really have had the time of my life this year though. Looking back at everything, I really have had a lot of great times, even though I did have a lot of bad times. But you know, you got to be grateful for all the good moments in life. Life is what you make it, and you got to learn sometimes to just go with it. That's what I try to do. Live my life day by day, make the most of the happy moments, learn from the bad and just really have the time of my life. I can't wait to see what the summer brings me. Have an amazing day! Love you all! :D

February...

Hey! I'm back. I've been kind of hiding I guess you could say. Okay, so we all know life can be really dreadful at times, especially for us teens. We think it's the end of the world over the stupidest things. All I can say is, it's not. Even though these past few weeks sometimes felt like I was going to die, I have shared the amazing times with my amazing friends. The first week of this month was just like any other week. The second week was unbelievably amazing. I shared so many good moments and I haven't laughed that much as I did that week for a really long time. This week..hm... defiantly a roller coaster. It started out promising. Then I got into one of those "misfits" with a friend. Which is hopefully getting better. We are trying to work things out right now. And then today, I got great news from my old drama teacher that he wants me to be his assistant director for his play. What a great opportunity, things is I'm wondering if I could do that. I mean, I'm so young, I don't know if I could do it. Plus, I mostly work in the musical productions. This is just a regular play, and I've never participated in just a regular school play. I want to accept his offer and I know I probably will, I just hope this doesn't change my plans to be his assistant director for his musical next year. Because I really want to do "Anastasia." It's my favorite ever!!! So, we'll see. That's just a quick update to life. I'll be back with more later! :)

You can't measure what kind words will do...

Hey guys. This past week was soooooooooooooooooo looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg! It seriously felt like it would never end! So, as a quick update of how things are. Things are picking up a bit in places. As I mentioned in my last post, my friend had committed suicide, and as you could imagine, it's been a big challenge. It's really made me look at people differently, and cherish all my friends and family so much more. We all need to share our love with the people who mean the most to us, because you have no idea what is going on in their lives and you never know if today is the last day you'll hear them laugh or see them smile. Love your friends, love your family, and most importantly love your enemies. Just like your friends and family, they are going through trials and need help as well. We should all learn to be there for each other when things get rough. Everybody deserves a smile or a hug everyday. Nobody deserves to be teased or hated. We all make mistakes, but that doesn't mean you have to hate them. You don't need to judge them either, God can do that himself. Yes, sometimes people do things you don't agree with, but that doesn't mean you should judge them. You are supposed to judge their works, not them individually. I myself need to work on this, I know I'm not perfect, I'm far from it. But after seeing what hatred does to people, and what cruel words do, I want to become a better person and not be the one responsible of them feeling like they've been mistreated. I want to be there for anyone, anytime, about anything. We all have so much love to give to others. So, take some time to smile, and say hi to somebody. You never know what that simple gesture could do in their lives. Laugh harder than you should, love like you've never loved before, and live with no regrets!

Hurt and Happiness

Hey, sorry it's been so long. I've been having a really hard couple of weeks. But I promise it wasn't all bad. I had preference, and that was a lot of fun. One of the biggest things that has kept me from posting stuff is that a friend of mine committed suicide, and I've been a wreck since all that happened. It seriously seems like everything horrible I could have thought of, keeps happening. There has been a lot of good though, and I've been blessed many times this week. Me and a friend have gotten a lot closer, actually that's happened with a lot of my friends. And I had preference to help me have a good time, and I swear miracles were just happening all day for me. I also finished the end of the term with all A's even though I thought I wasn't going to get an A in my math class. So, there's been a lot of little blessings throughout these past few weeks, and I'm so grateful that I have my friends. They really have been there for me for all of this. I'm going to miss my friend, but I know, now he's not in the pain he was in. I just wish he knew how many lives he had touched. There was so many people who loved him, even if you didn't really knew him...he still touched your life. He was like a big brother for everybody and cared so much about everyone. I'm going to miss him a lot. :(