I know I haven't written in a while. Well a lot has happened since the last time I wrote, but I'm going to focus on one thing.
Yes, we did break up.
It was actually quite a while ago when my old boyfriend and I decided to break things off. I'll be honest, of course it was sad that things didn't work out between us but I think it was for the best. I still care for him, but it isn't the same love and care I used to have for him. I don't regret being with him, I never did and I still don't regret it. I think we were meant to be together at that time and I think we're not supposed to be together at this time. I don't know if we ever will be together again, but whatever happens is for the best and I can say that with a big smile on my face and truly mean it.
I took the breakup a lot better than I thought I would. Didn't cry. Only thought about the whole relationship. My father in Heaven has made it easier for me to be able to deal with the break up. The whole break up came at a time where I was already having a hard time, so I thought I wasn't going to be able to handle having to deal with the break up on top of everything I was going through. I prayed a lot, and I never felt sorry for things having to end. I was happy that he was happy. I think in a way the break up has blessed my life. I was able to start focusing on myself and I still am. I've been working on my grades because they slipped from other things. I've been able to build friendships because of this break up. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. I had friends that didn't agree with my past relationship and we started to drift apart as I continued my relationship. After the break up we were able to re-bond again and it's been great. I love all my friends and I've actually missed a lot of them.
I don't want to make it seem like I never loved my ex. I did love him. I loved him a lot and it was hard to stop feeling those feelings, but I knew I had to let go. I just decided to let go faster than most teens do. I'm still letting go of my feelings, but I'm doing great if I do say so myself. I have such great friends that have always been there for me, making sure I don't feel down on myself. And I know I have a full life ahead of me. As I was thinking about my past relationship, I realized I learned a lot about myself. I can't see myself with my ex right now, which is why I think we aren't supposed to be together anymore. He taught me a lot though. I'll forever be grateful for that.
I just want to say something though. I know there were some people who were so shocked about the break up. Maybe we could have fought through all the problems we were dealing with, but I felt like he didn't want to fight anymore so I wasn't going to force him to fight for something he didn't want. A lot of people didn't realize that there were some quiet issues going on between the two of us. My ex doesn't even know to this day all that I knew. As we were talking that last day, I knew we needed to go separate ways which made the break up easier to bear when it came. A lot of people only saw the good things from my relationship and were really upset over the breakup. I heard people say things like, "If they can't last, what love can?" I want you to realize, love can last. It just wasn't meant to last between me and him. We couldn't do it anymore. There was more to our relationship than you knew. I'm sorry if that's how you felt, but really don't give up on love. Love isn't perfect. It takes a lot of work and both have to want to work on it. With my situation, I just felt like he didn't want to work anymore and I was willing to let him go if it made him feel happy. That's all I wish for him. Happiness and true love. May he one day find it.
Thank you though for all the amazing memories. I will forever have them and I won't regret being with you. Thank you for teaching me so much. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. I wish you luck!
Standing Strong,
Alissa Lopez
