Easter Traditions, Meanings and more

I love the Easter season! Not because of all the candy, easter egg hunts, and coloring eggs. Yes all of those things can be fun but Easter has always meant more to me. I'd like to think that it's because of the way my mom always treated Easter in our home. Ever since I can remember, we had this tradition in our home. The week before Easter we would have a special Family Home Evening lesson. My mom would pull out a carton of plastic eggs. In each one there was something that related to Christ's life. I remember the little nail inside one of the eggs and my mom had each of us prick our fingers so we could feel just the little pain it gave us. I always looked forward to the Easter lesson. We haven't done it the past few years as we have started growing up but I still think about it every year. It helped me to understand Easter better and have a better appreciation for Christ and all He did for me as well as having a bigger love for my Father in Heaven.

I love Easter traditions. My family doesn't have many but the ones we do have I enjoy. It's sad that now that all of us are growing up a lot of the traditions we did have are now gone. I remember when I was little, when we first moved here we had to look for our Easter baskets. We don't hide the baskets anymore but that's okay :) It was always fun and exciting :) We each have our own baskets (this one still stands today) and my mom coordinates our easter grass to match us best. I usually end up with yellow grass because yellow is my favorite color. One tradition I love is the easter egg hunt and even though we all are getting older we still have one every year. My oldest sister has autism and loves easter egg hunts, so we do them even today. One year my mom wasn't going to do it but my sisters and I decided to use our own candy and pitch in the little money we had and we ended up having the easter egg hunt that year. Not just for ourselves but for our older sister Sandra.

Even though we have all these fun traditions, we must not forget to remember Christ and the real meaning of Easter. I owe my life to Him.  He gave His life for me. Christ has always been there for me. He's my brother and I love him more than anything. I have had many blessing but out of all of them, one thing stands out the most from one of the blessings I received. I was having a really hard time and I was so lost. I was struggling with my faith and I felt like I had no where to go. It got so bad and everything felt so wrong. I finally decided to reach out to my Father in Heaven. So I went to my old seminary teacher and I asked for a blessing. In the blessing, he said that Christ had paid for all my sins. He atoned for all of them and died for me. And he would do it all over again and do it all for just me. I have never felt so close to Christ and my Father in Heaven.

I have made many mistakes. I've done things I'm not proud of and I look back and wonder how I ever got into the situations I was in. A few years ago, I was going to church just because that's what I had to do and I was going to seminary to look the part of a "good Mormon girl" but I started to question my faith and found myself not believing the same things that everyone else in my faith seemed to believe. Everyone had testimonies about prayer, family, service, the atonement, etc. However, I didn't have any testimony of it. I got to a point where I had nothing but then God lifted me up and gave me everything I needed. I didn't have everything the world thinks you need but I had what God knew I needed. Because of the atonement I was able to not only wash away my sins but to find peace with myself. I kept telling myself I had done so much damage that there was no way for me to come back to Christ. I now know that that was Satan's words in my head. He knew how strong I could be with the Lord on my side and he didn't want me on my Father's side. I had no idea how strong God could make me, but I have done so much thanks to Him.

I continue to make mistakes every now and then. I'm not perfect. I'm human and I fall every now and then. But because Christ has payed the price for me I can repent and be made whole again. I do all I can on my own and I know he will make up for the difference. I feel His love every day in my life. I give thanks to Him for all he has done.

I am so grateful Christ died for each of us so that we can be resurrected again. I can't express my joy that I will be able to see my earthly father again someday. I love him so much and I miss him. I know he walks with me and I do all I can to make him proud. My father always watches over me and I have felt him with me more than once. I still remember the feeling I had when I was baptized. I could feel him there with me and I know he will be there with me when I graduate and I know without a doubt he'll be at my wedding one day. He lives inside me and my sisters. He will always be a huge part of my life and I can't wait to see him again. I know it will be a glorious day when me and my sisters finally get to be with our father again. I can already imagine the joy my sisters and I will feel when we all get to run to him again and see him. Even though I haven't had the kind of father most people have had, I've been blessed to have an angel as my father. I can't wait to personally thank him for all he's done for me and I want him to know how much I know he's been there for me. I will never forget him. I could never forget him.

This Easter I have had so much to be grateful for and I can't express all of my gratitude in words to my Father in Heaven. I love Christ and I love my Heavenly Father. Thank you. It sounds so simple but I can't tell it to you enough. I know I'll always need you. Thank you for your patience and your love.

I hope you all have had an amazing Easter this year. Remember what Easter is all about and keep the spirit of Easter with you through this week and throughout the rest of the year. Happy Easter!

A Penny for my Thoughts

   Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking. As this past spring break went by it's got me thinking about how close it is to me graduating. I really can't believe how fast this year has gone by. Looking back, I realize that I have learned a lot about myself, about others and about just life in general.
I have lost some friends this year but have gained many others. I made a lot of mistakes this year but I have learned from them and I continue to learn from all of them. That's what life is all about right? Learning. I want to just say a few things from what I've learned this past year. Hopefully you will get something from what I have to say :)
   Now I'm already getting teary-eyed but this year I have learned just how strong I can be. It's been a really rough year for me and I can imagine each of you had your own struggles this year as well, but as I look back on this year...this one has definitely been my hardest year yet. I have been tested in ways I never thought I would be tested in. I have had to deal with failures like I've never had to before, heartbreaks like never before, promises broken, loneliness, fears, betrayals, broken friendships, my family, myself. By far the hardest thing for me this year has been myself. I look back at the beginning of the year and I can see how much stronger I have become. I have fought through everything that life has given me this past year and it makes me sad that anyone would have to go through all of that. It's kind of overwhelming looking back at it all and realizing just how much a little girl had to deal with in just one year. I never wish for anyone to have any of the feelings I had this year about myself. I started the year off really shaky. I was in a place in my life where I really was getting tired of life and I was never really happy. Then I fought with feeling like a failure because I could no longer do things the way I used to, making me have to quit things and I never felt good enough for anything or for anyone. Throughout the whole year, I have never really been happy to look at myself in the mirror and be comfortable with what I saw. I struggled with feeling like something was wrong with me.
   And then I felt alone. There have only been a few times when I have ever felt truly alone but the worst was earlier this year. There aren't even words to express how alone I felt. I struggled every day with feeling like I had to face all my problems by myself. I felt like I didn't have somebody to turn to who would understand me. I started missing how things used to be and I didn't know what to do anymore. I became worried that I would never feel like I was truly happy ever again. It seemed so far out of reach.
Well I don't know what happened but slowly I didn't feel as alone anymore. I want to say that it's because of all the amazing friends I have. I started to realize that they may not understand exactly how I feel but they would do anything to make sure I was okay and they would always be there for me. I can't tell you how grateful I am for the friends I have. They take time out of their day to make sure I am okay and I never feel like I deserve it.
   Just a few weeks ago I was struggling with some stuff and I just needed somebody to talk to. I had come to a realization about how I was feeling towards a few things about myself during one of my classes one day. As I went to my next class I had to tell somebody. I couldn't just hold it in because I needed to just let somebody understand what I just came to understand. I pulled aside my friend before class started and just told her how I felt. I didn't expect to cry but as the tears streamed down my cheeks I was thankful for her and her understanding.
   Not only did my friends help me so I didn't feel alone anymore, but I know my God helped me as well. I have seen many times this year when I am feeling even the tiniest bit alone, He comes and rescues me. I've seen it at work, at school, during a rehearsal, at seminary...anywhere. It will be so subtle but it hits me hard every time I realize it. It even happened just this past week at work through a little girl. God knows how to make me feel special. I know He knows me and I can always rely on Him. He has always been there for me, even if I didn't want Him to be and I can't express enough gratitude to Him.
   The past few months I have finally started to feel happy. It has felt so amazing to be truly happy. Yes, I still have bad days...we all do. But overall, these past few months I have been extremely happy. I fought through a big storm this year and I know I have many more to come but I know I can make it through it. My life still has its issues and it is far from perfect, but I've started to learn to just dance through the storm. So with whatever storm you are traveling through, I advise you to jump in the puddles, splash around and just dance through it all. It will be hard and you'll get tired of it, but eventually you will find happiness from it.
   I am very proud of myself for not giving up so easy. I've finally made it to the next step in my life. It's going to be a different step than the ones before but I can make it through it. I have been shown just how strong I am...even for a little girl. And the strength I now have, it's going to take me far.