Sometimes Our Paths Change....

I have learned how we each truly have our own paths in life - filled with roundabouts, dead ends, right and left turns, curves, detours, forks in the road, speed bumps, etc.

My path recently took me to a fork in the road.  

I have sat at that crossroads, trying to decide which side I wanted to take for quite some time now. 

I could see the good that came from both sides and I also saw the cons. I asked for opinions from friends and family and even my Father above. However, I still felt stuck at that same place and couldn't seem to move. 

But I had to choose one. I couldn't just wait and not choose.

It has recently come to my attention that some of my needs have been ignored by myself while attending college. 

I love learning. But I have spread myself too thin trying to learn, keep up on my studies, work, maintain a social life that is close to non-existent as well as give my all to my God. 

I'm used to doing a lot at once. I did a lot of extra curricular activities in high school. However a lot of my circumstances have changed since high school. I no longer am doing what I love, but what I'm told I should do. It put my body and my mental state into a major shock.

For the past few weeks I have been trying to decide what I should do about my schooling. I had the thought of taking a break and at first it was just a thought which I brushed away quickly. At that point, I felt like I was just like everyone else. I mean, who doesn't doubt being in school at least once? However, it kept coming back over and over again and soon enough I was forced to think about it. 

As I tried to figure out the situation on my own I got worried about the choice I felt I should make. I didn't want people to judge me and think badly of my choice. I didn't want to feel like I wasn't supported. So I scared myself into to thinking that I should just do what was expected of me but I felt uneasy and really upset with my choice.

Finally I turned to friends and family and although at first it seemed like my family wanted me to just do as I was expected, I learned they would support me, whatever decision I made. 

I've thought long and hard about each path I could take. I've had lots of sleepless nights thinking about it. I've prayed a lot, gotten priesthood blessings, read conference talks. I've done a lot. But I couldn't make the step on the path I knew I should take.

I kept coming back to one thought.

I would be a failure if I chose time away from school for a while. 

After endless weeks of wondering what to do, I have finally come to a conclusion that I feel satisfies me and the Lord right now. I'm ready to take my new path and I feel good about it. I know it will bring me back to school, but as of right now I need time for myself to grow without the stress college has brought into my life. I am not taking the easy way out. Actually, in some ways I feel like it's the harder way, but I feel like it's the right one.
I know that my Father in Heaven wants me to be happy and right now I don't feel that in school because I have lost myself. I want to have more time for Him as well as myself so I can come to know myself some more. I love my God and I know of His love for me. 

This path is going to hard because I know it will come with a lot of judgement and it's going to be a longer one for me in order to finish school, but after weeks of trying to make a decision, I've finally come to one that brings me peace and comfort.
I don't intend to take this time just to be lazy or anything like that. With God by my side, I know He will lead me to do great things. I don't know what they may be yet, but I trust Him.

So here goes the first step of my new path. It's an unexpected journey, but with the support of my family, friends and God, I know I can get through it.