To the people I used to call my friends:

I have been called a liar, immature, a baby, etc. by you. I’ve heard you say that I’m being dramatic or just trying to get attention. I’ve heard about your remarks on some of the decisions I’ve made. I’ve heard your judgements and accusations that you have made behind my back. And you somehow feel like you have every right to judge and accuse me of who I really am, without ever asking me about my thoughts, my opinions, or my motives on my own decisions.

My life, all at once started to come crashing down a couple of months ago, and where were you? You were there again with your judgements and accusations that you would only say when I wasn’t around.  I cannot say at this time that I have made it through this storm, because this storm is still going strong. However, I would like to make it clear to you that despite what you might think, I am not here to cry and complain about how hard my life is so that I can get some pity from you. I deserve better than your pity.

I think you and I have different expectations for what a friend really is. Or maybe we think it means two different things. Isn’t a friend somebody who is loyal? Isn’t a friend somebody you can rely on? Isn’t a friend somebody you can trust? Isn’t a friend somebody who will empathize with you? Isn’t a friend somebody who will listen to your side of the story? Isn’t a friend somebody who will comfort you? Isn’t a friend somebody who is supportive? Isn’t a friend, a friend no matter the time of year?

If one of my friends came to me about how their life has turned upside down, I would take the time to listen to what they had to say, instead of rolling my eyes and walking away. Do you not understand how each of us will trip and fall from time to time? Sometimes we can get back up by ourselves, other times we need a friend or two to help us get back on our feet and walking again.

You have watched me fall and have seen how much I have struggled to get back up on my own. Rather than reaching out your hand to offer some support, you stand there gawking and judging how I even fell in the first place. And even though you have deserted me, I still hope that the next time you fall, somebody will be there to pick you back up. Because nobody should feel like they are going to be left behind, uncared for.

That is what a friend would want for you.