hApPy NeW yEaR's!!!

I'll make this short, but this has been a crazy year. I can't believe it's almost over! I have had a lot of growing this year. I finally got the guts to ask a guy to a dance...which is actually the first dance that I can go to (at least a school dance), but still. It has been a crazy adventure this year, I was in 2 plays and I had so much going on this year. I'm kind of sad that the year is about to end, but I'm so excited for this next year! Hope you all have a great new year. HAPPY NEW YEAR'S TO Y'ALL! :DDD

Who knew life would turn out like this?

Oh wow, life just when it seems good decides to change its mind and flip ya right back where you were. I've kind been keeping this back from people...and I need to let it out or I don't know what will happen. I have this friend, let's just call her "Miranda." Well Miranda and I have been friends practically forever. She's a great gal, but she's got some honesty issues. But pretty much nobody tells her that we don't believe her anymore...and yeah, that's an oppsies on my side too. Anyways, I have this other friend who we'll call "Amber." She and I have been friends since last year. We're both really close, or at least we were. We did practically everything together, and I was always over at her house. Well, then I got into my school play and I ended up getting really busy, and then Amber was busy with her life too. We still were really close, she'd call me during rehearsals or text me, and at school we were practically inseparable. Then it came to the last week of the 1st term, yeah I know...that was a ways back, but everything leads up to this point. Anyways, I was really stressed with my grades, because I like having straight A's...I'm that kind of person. And, I was also stressed because of the play, don't get me wrong...I loved being in the play, but it was stressful. Anyways, I also take 2 online classes that I wasn't really doing that often because I was so busy, so I was getting a little worried about them kicking me out of the class, so that put more stress. Well, one night I was texting Amber and we were both saying how we were both stressed, and I don't know how we got to this, but then we started fighting because I was saying that I had so much to do in so little time, but she was trying to tell me that she had more. Yeah, I know...stupid. Well we sort of worked that out that night, by just dropping it. Anyways, I was really stressed as I said, and I needed help...from anyone or anything...so I turned  to prayers. I asked my friends if they would also pray for me...but I didn't ask my friend Amber because first I wasn't sure she would (there's a reason behind that), and second, she had caused some of the stress and it seemed ironic to ask her to pray for something that she was a part of. Well one of my friends, we'll call her "Kayla," she told Amber about the text, and Amber freaked out. She started texting me asking why I didn't ask her to pray, and I really didn't want to deal with it...so I tried explaining it in the least possible way, and we tried to just drop it and continue on. Well, that was kind of a mistake...because after I was still a little mad at her so the next morning we weren't really talking that much, and that gave Miranda all she needed to wedge right between us (You were wondering when she'd come back in...). You see, Amber showed Miranda the texts and Miranda just started taking Amber's side so that she could win her over. Worst thing ever! So, we weren't really talking that much and we were both still mad at each other. I finished the term with all A's, which took a lot of stress of my back. But there was still Amber, who was now causing the most stress. One day in our foods class, where we sat next to each other on the same table, one of our friends who we'll call "Sally," told us to stop fighting and just make up already (Even though we hadn't talked to each other...i consider it fighting). So, we tried to work it out, but we both got more mad and Sally just said, "Alissa do you want to be friends with her?" So I replied, "If she wants to be, I'll be her friend." So, she asked Amber the same thing and she said that same thing as me...so we just dropped the whole issue, and started being friends again...trouble was, Miranda had practically replaced me. Things were way different. Miranda and Amber were always together, and were always talking to each other. Amber hardly even texted me. So, I knew things had changed, and I knew that it shouldn't bother me, but it did...because as much as I hate to admit it...I was jealous...and still am. Anyways, now to the more recent times...it came to my around my birthday and Miranda decided to throw me a surprise birthday party (haha thing is I knew about the whole time...she's horrible at doing them...she practically gave it away from the start by telling Amber that she needed to talk to her and that I couldn't know about it...but that I would know later...nice going there Miranda). Anyways, she decided to throw me a party, but the timing was really bad timing. I was really stressed once again for classes and the play, and on top of that I was still stress about the Amber thing. And, I had offered to help out with another play from my old jr. high school, and I still had those online classes. So, Amber and another friend come and "kidnap" me to take me to my "surprise" party...and as they took me my phone dropped in the grass, but none of us knew. So, when we got to the place were the party was being held, and we were all inside and started settling down, I realized I didn't have my phone. And I didn't mention, but I was texting somebody at the time...so I kind of wanted to find my phone because I was texting this person. Anyways, I kind of freaked and we tried looking for it, but we couldn't find it...so I was kind of upset, because I wouldn't have lost my phone if they hadn't thrown the party....and I'm not blaming them, but that's the truth. Well, since I was also working on my homework that I was stressing out about, as the time got later, I started realizing that I wasn't going to have time to do my homework. So, I started complaining. Yeah, I was being a bummer, but not completely. You see, this is important...cuz it's going to come up again. When I had first arrived, I had said thanks to everybody who was there...including Miranda. As we were cutting the cake and eating it, I said thanks once again to Miranda. Every time Miranda got something for me...I said "Thanks." See I was also grateful. As we were leaving, I said thanks to her grandma for letting us use her home, and I said thanks once again to Miranda. Well, when we got to my house, Miranda and her mom helped try looking for my phone in my yard. Miranda tried calling, texting...everything, but we couldn't find it. I checked in my house, and couldn't find it. It was really late, already past midnight, so I thanked Miranda and her mom for looking for my phone and for the party and I told them I'd try looking in the morning. (I found it in the morning on the edge of my yard, face down...and it's red so it looked like these "pods" we get in my yard, which is why we couldn't find it) I get to school and everything is going great, at least it seemed like it. Apparently Miranda and Amber didn't like the way I acted at the party and Miranda thought it would help to spread a little lie here and there about what happened. She told Amber, I never once said thank you to her...which as we all know is a lie, and she told her that I told Miranda that she had to throw me a surprise party for me, when I never once asked for one. So, Amber was getting the idea that I was really ungrateful for the whole thing, which isn't true, I was, but I was also stressed. Anyways, Amber and Miranda kept talking about me behind my back...and then acted like there was nothing wrong in front of me. But I caught on really quickly, because I knew when Amber was upset and talking about people...I knew her more than Miranda and I could tell something was up...but I didn't really want to deal with it at the moment, so I waited for a couple of weeks. Oh, and by this time, my  play was finished, so I didn't have that weighing on my back. On opening night of my sister's play, the one I was helping out with...as we were doing some last minute stuff, I decided I had had enough of Amber not really talking to me, so I texted her asking what I had done this time and why she was upset...it took a long time, but she finally told me that she was annoyed at a lot of things I was doing and that I always have to complain. Well, that got me fired up, and we both started throwing words around and saying things that shouldn't have been said. Luckily, she couldn't see me, because I was crying...and I hate people seeing me cry (I was backstage hidden so that people wouldn't notice). Finally, I just told her I didn't want to deal with her at the moment and I didn't have time for it. So, we dropped it...but not really because before that...I had told her that maybe we shouldn't be friends because this kept happening. I was still really upset, but I had to do the show, so I tried to fake that I was OK. My friend who we'll call "Adam" who is in the play picked up on it, and tried to get me to tell him what was going on. (He knows Amber and I didn't want to make a big deal about the whole thing, because I hate people choosing sides.) Well, he even tried having my sister try figuring out what was going on, but I wouldn't tell. He said that if I didn't tell him, he wasn't going on stage. But I told him, I just needed to think about it all before I told him and that I'll tell him about it later. He finally agreed on that and let me be for a while. As I was doing some last minute check-ups backstage I came out and one of the techies asked if I was okay, at first I just nodded my head, but then I shook it and started crying again. She took me up into a classroom that the director was in and right when I came in, the director knew I was upset...and I had stopped crying. He asked me what was wrong and I told him everything, and then he told me what I needed to do was write everything out and then tell her that I still want to be friends, but that it was all in her hands. So, I felt a little better...and yes, I did end up telling Adam what happened. Anyways, it took a couple of days before I got the courage to write to her...I hand-wrote a note and put it on her door. That night...(this I believe was closing night at the play) I got a text from Amber telling me that I needed to check my email. I went and found the director and asked him if I could check my email on his computer, and since he knew about the whole situation, he let me. Well I read her letter and I wanted to clarify or put in my opinions in places, but I didn't want to rewrite another letter, so I asked one of the techies that I'm friends with what I should do. She told me that what needed to happen next, was to actually talk to each other...face-to-face. I was nervous but I knew that's what needed to happen. So, I told her that. Well I was sick and unable to really talk, so we didn't talk for that day, and then she was sick for a few days so we couldn't talk, and then it was my actual birthday and I didn't want to deal with all that on my birthday...so we didn't talk then. A whole week went by without talking to each other. Finally we decided to talk on Monday, but then found out we couldn't, so we talked on Tuesday on the bus. But that wasn't enough time so we talked at her house and figured out what was the problem...Miranda's lies. That was what was causing the whole thing. So, we got it all worked out and then we started talking like the old times. It felt nice, I even stayed at her house for like 3 hours more. And after that, we started getting a little closer than before, but it still feels like Miranda still has replaced me. But I do admit, after school lately, I'm the one that gets to go over to Amber's house and it's starting to feel like how it used to. Until, a couple days ago, when Miranda and I got into a little fight. Because really I was still mad at Miranda for the whole thing, and she was acting like it wasn't her fault for the fight. Well she and I kind of just made up for the whole thing, but I'm actually really starting to get annoyed with her, and I feel like Amber is going to start pulling away because of the whole thing that happened with me and Miranda. I just am so tired of all this conflict...any ideas?

Update time!

OK, so life is good right now. I'm not having huge issues with anybody, and life just seems to glide by. I'm really happy lately, and it's been really good this past week. I'm trying to think of what to give people for Christmas since it's next week, which is CRAZY! I feel like this past year has just flown by so quickly. It's been a crazy year, but it's also been very rewarding. I hope this year has been amazing for you as it has been for me. I've learned a lot about myself and others this past year. It's been adventure, but it's been worth it. I'll try to update you with more details of things in the coming week. Everybody, have a great rest of the week! Love y'all!!!!

Life...what to say...

Well, there's a lot going on with my life. I did have a fight with a friend a couple of weeks ago, but that's all worked out now. Another thing that's happened is two of my friends like each other. The guy told me he liked her and she likes him, but the girl hasn't said a word about it to me. She just talks to me about the other guy she used to (and still sort of does) like. Really, I just want her to tell me about it! I don't see why she won't. That's really all I want to hear from her right now. I just want her to admit it!
Another thing, I asked a guy to my preference dance a couple days ago, and where I come from, we have to do it all fancy and cute. So, the guy I asked is really into dance. What I did was I got a box and put a couple dancing inside it. Then I wrote, "Will you dance the night away with me at preference?" I filled the box with candy and put my name in it, kind of hidden. Then I had it given to his mom. So, now I just have to wait for his answer! This is the scary part! Hopefully, all goes as planned! Wish me luck! I hope you all are doing great! I'll try to write on Monday. :)

Ok...I'm back

Hey guys...so I know I've been away for a long time, but I'm back. I've been super busy with some extra activities from school, but those are over for the moment and now I have not much to do. Just so you all know, one of my best friends and I are in a fight right now. I guess things have been left unsaid for a long time. So, what happened was this, I felt like she was really mad at me for something I had done, but she wasn't telling me anything; she was kind of ignoring me. So, I asked her this past Wednesday night what was going on and why she was mad at me, when she said why I felt really hurt and so I blew up at her. Yes, I was the one to blow up. So, she blew up at me for blowing up at her...and just so you can understand a bit better, this was over text...not face-to-face. So, she was reading into the way I would say things, the wrong way and I bet I was doing the same. It was actually a really bad time that this was all happening, I was at my little sister's junior high school helping with the play that they were doing (I was in-charge of doing their spotlight for the show). So, there were people there that were friends with me, that also knew this friend of mine. I ended up just walking backstage so no one could see me, and I just started crying. Unfortunately, I had to go do some things for their play before they began, so I had to just learn to deal with everything and try to fake that everything was ok (which I can usually do pretty well), but this night was not a normal night. One of my best friends there found me and knew something was up, I just wasn't ready to talk about it. About a half hour later, I walked into the classroom the actors met while they waited to be onstage (lucky they were out having a meeting in their auditorium), but the director was in there. He knew something was up and pulled me aside asking me what was wrong. I told him, and he gave me advice about just writing a letter out to her where I can explain everything to her, without her interrupting me. So, I did and I was really nervous to give it to her personally so I dropped it off at her house on Friday evening. I was also helping out with the play that night too, so I was there when I got a text from her telling me to check my email. I asked the director if I could check it, so he let me. She had wrote back to me. As I was reading through it, I wanted to say things about it, but I didn't want to write another letter. So, I talked with a good friend of mine that night and asked what she thought I should do, and she told me that the next step was talking to each other...face-to-face. So, I responded to her letter by telling her that we needed to actually talk to each other. I'm expecting that to happen tomorrow, so we'll have to see how it goes. Hopefully, things will get better. That's what has been going on this past week. I'll tell you how things work out. Thanks for reading!