So I feel like the past couple of posts have sort of been downers so I want to focus the majority of it (hopefully all of it) on good things!
Life is never perfect. Things happen all the time and we go through little bumps in our lives, but that doesn't mean we don't have things to be happy for! My life has been crazy and I'm sure you all know how that goes. But I have had some great things happen because of all the crazy things in my life. I want to start out though thanking the cast and crew of Mountain View's show Of Mice and Men. You guys did a great job! I want to explain why this show impacted me so much. I've talked to a few of you about this. As a lot of you guys know my oldest sister has autism. I love my sister Sandra to death...but you do have to give rules. She doesn't understand that you can't always have what you want. There are days when she'll come home and just want to eat and eat and eat, but we can't let her do that for obvious reasons. Some days we have to fight with her to get her to stop eating and she will fight back because she doesn't understand the consequences. It wasn't always about food though. And sometimes she'll fight back so much that it did get physical. She's hit me, sat on my head, bitten my sister etc. But it's because she doesn't understand. Just like Lennie, she doesn't understand things the way you and I do and sometimes she reacts in a way that only she can react in. Duncan did a fantastic job on his portrayal of Lennie and Collin did an amazing job being George. I see myself as George. With a struggle of how far you take it. I loved how Criman decided to make it so the play wasn't about the gun shot. There was so much more to it. Thank you for the amazing play you guys put on. I hope you remember the lessons it taught you.
My favorite part was seeing Lennie transform into a perfect being after he died. I can't wait for the day when I see Sandra in her perfect being. I love her more than anything in the world for who she is. She has taught me more than anything or anyone. She may not be like you and me but she is beautiful in her own way. She is a daughter of God. Her heart is pure and I know she's being watched over. She is so much closer to God than I am and I envy her relationship with Him. She loves making people feel loved and I love that about her. Sandra, I know you aren't going to read this but I love you and I will always love you.
So this week has been a huge blessing for me. A lot of you know how I am going to be going on a choir tour soon. Well I'm paying for this trip all on my own...which has been sort of insane and crazy. Anyways, this week I was stressing out that I wouldn't get enough money from work because I was only scheduled to work for 11 hours. Well that changed pretty quickly because a couple of the girls from work needed people to cover their shifts. I ended up working all week except Friday and not only that, Monday night at work I had a party that I hosted and they ended up giving me a very large tip. I have never felt so blessed! It was the craziest week at work but I got through it and I'm thankful that I was able to get in more hours. I want to say a quick thank you to my amazing coworkers. Because of them I was able to make it through each night :) Thanks guys!
School has been super stressful. I am struggling in a couple of classes but I am getting through it and I'm hoping that it will all work out! I want to say sorry to my teachers because I know I've been a pain to work with these past couple of weeks. I especially want to say sorry to Andrus...I feel bad that I haven't been giving it my all this term and I'm working on changing that. Anyways, I still love my classes and I believe they have me on the right path on where I want to go.
I think that's a pretty good transition to college...don't ya think? Alright. I'm super excited to talk about this! So I was blessed to be accepted into 4 schools. I was accepted into SUU, USU, BYUI and BYU. My top two schools have always been USU and BYU when I applied for different colleges. It has been crazy this week as I have tried to figure out which school I want to go to more. I have felt like BYU was what everyone expected me to go to because I'm Mormon and it's the "Mormon school." If you know me well then you know I don't do things because it's expected of me.
At the beginning of the week I had no idea where I was going and so many people told me their opinions, it just made me even more confused and I kept having anxiety attacks because of it. Near the middle of the week, I thought I finally made a decision on where I wanted to go but it just was settling with me. I was happy with the school I chose but at the same time something didn't feel right. So once again, I didn't know where I was headed and I was stressing out because my deadline was coming up. I started stressing like crazy over which school I'd be going to because whichever one I chose, it would change the rest of my life. I believe choosing BYU or USU would both be good paths. I knew that either one would be a good choice. It wasn't a "bad" or "good" choice I was dealing with. It was a "better" and "best" choice. And that is why I was so stressed. I wanted to make sure I'd choose a school that was what was best for me. Not what other people expected me to choose or what people thought was what was best for me.
This is why I chose the school that I did. And I am sooooo excited about it!!! I really couldn't be happier and I have no regrets! Nobody knows which school I have chosen. My family doesn't know, my friends don't know...NOBODY KNOWS! Hahaha :)
Until now.
I am now going to let you all know and I'm super excited to finally let everyone know! I figured it out just yesterday and have been dying to let people know! It's a really scary thing going from high school to college. I have waited for this day for a really long time and now that it's finally here I am going crazy with all different kinds of emotions. But I now feel a little bit more at ease. This upcoming fall I will be attending Brigham Young University and I am so stoked!
I chose this school not because my sister goes there and not because I feel like it's the school my mom wants me to go to. I chose this school because I want to go there for myself. I know I can get a good education there and that is why I'm going. I know it's a place I can grow and I need that. I didn't expect to go to BYU. For a long time I didn't want to go to Brigham Young because my sister went there and I felt like my mom was pushing me into going there too. I hate feeling like other people control my life and I felt if I went there they would have won. But then I started thinking about it and thought I'd give it a shot. But I had my heart set on a college outside of Utah. However, once I started filling out my college applications I started finding other schools I wanted to go to more. As I was about to fill out my application to the school outside of Utah, I had a feeling that it wasn't the school for me so I didn't even apply. That's when I fell in love with the idea of going to USU. I was sooo happy when I was admitted and I wanted BYU not to accept me so that I didn't have to choose. But that wasn't the case. I struggled so many times between the two schools this week. I had my heart set on USU, but like I said something didn't feel right. But I am super happy with my decision with BYU. I can't wait to go there and I know it's what is best for me and I'm glad I chose it on my own...without feeling pressured into it.
So I guess that's the end of tonight's post :) So I'm signing off...awkwardly. Have a great week! Love you all!
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