Dear Dad,
Hey, it's your little girl. This is kind of odd writing to you, but yeah. Daddy, I want you to know that I love you. I know you watch over me while you are up in heaven. I feel you near me at times. I remember my baptism and how I felt your arms around me. I remember one night, when I really needed somebody and I could feel you there. I have always felt you near me. I know you are happy on the other side. Daddy, I miss you though. I know I didn't have a big chance to know you, but the memories I have of you, I cherish. Like the time you made me upset and I wouldn't talk to you. You tickled me and made me laugh. I remember that the most, and it's my favorite memory of you. Dad, I wish I could of had more of a chance to know you.
I want you to know, I look up to you and your strength you had. You were a convert, and I can't imagine what that's like. I was lucky to have such a great dad like you. Yes, I know you had your mistakes, but we all do. I don't know how many mistakes I have had. Mistakes don't make somebody a bad person though. I think you were the kind of person who learned from those mistakes which you made. That's what I think.
Daddy, like I've said, I really do wish I would have had more of a chance to get to know you. Or at least, I wish I had more memories of you. I hate the fact that I was only given 5 years and wasn't left with much memories, while Heather on the other hand was given like 10 years of memories. But I do feel lucky with the memories I have, I feel awful that Mandy can't remember you. I wish she could remember you.
I really do wish she could.
Dad, you aren't like other dads. You never say 'good morning.' I never see your smiling face. I never hear if you are proud of me or hear anything for that matter. You never come home from work, you never give me any advice. I never hear you tell me that everything is going to be okay. I don't have a dad like that. But I've got something better. I've got an angel as my dad. One who is there, always watching over me. One who I know loves me no matter what.
Dad, I love you. I always have, and I always will.
Dad, I know I have a new step-father but I want you to know that I will never forget you. You will always be in my mind, always there, always. You will never leave me, I know that. I will never let you go, Daddy. I always think of you when I pass by purple pansies. I always think of you when Sandra asks for butterfly kisses. I always think of you when I listen to the song "Butterfly Kisses." I think of you every time I feel alone. You are always there. Even when I felt like nobody else was with me, I know you were. When I felt like nobody cared, nobody would listen, in the back of my mind I knew you did. It's been so hard, Daddy. When it was the hardest, you know what night I'm talking about, I could feel your arms wrap around me. Even though I can't see you, I know you are with me.
I never plan on letting you go. I will always be your little girl. I love you more than anything and I cannot wait til we meet again. Oh how great that day will be when I can run into your arms. I can't wait to see your smiling face. I hope to make you proud daddy. I want to live a life where I have made you proud. I love you daddy, today, tomorrow, and always.
Forever you little girl,
Alissa Lopez ♥
07/25/12Dear Heather,
Wow, where do I start? It's crazy thinking how old we both are now. I can't believe you're 21 out on your mission. I remember that day when we were just at home and we were singing that primary song, "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission," and you had changed it to fit you. Haha, that was a great day. We've had many great days. Even when you broke my nose. Haha. Thinking back, it's actually really funny how it all happened. I can't believe that I sat just picking grass, I thought I would have been safe because Mandy was in the way...boy was I wrong! I remember crying and Carissa was crying too because I was crying. And then when you tried to cover it all up before mom came home. That was funny. I guess you didn't do too well of hiding it, because right when mom saw it she asked what happened. Hahaha, and then I started crying again. Wow, that was a crazy day. Haha.
I always remember the fights we had, and how they seemed to always bring us closer somehow. We would get into HUGE fights, yet we still grew closer to each other. Heather, I know you care about me. I've noticed it these past few years. I've seen how you worry about me, like with my eating habits. You worry about how I keep things to myself. You worry about me. I know you do, and I want to thank you for it. As you have been on your mission, I've realized what a big part of my life you are. I feel like I've taken you for granted for the past 16 years. I'm sorry for any pain I caused you. I love you, I hope you know that.
I know being 5 years apart has been somewhat hard for me to be able to connect with you. I could never understand what you were going through because it would take 5 years before I could even begin to understand. I see things differently now. I remember being little and how you were in charge and thinking that I hated having you in charge. But I think differently of it now. I now know how hard it is, watching over people, being the one in charge, the example. It's so hard and I've broken down so many times because I sometimes feel like I can't do it anymore. I feel like I haven't been a good example to Carissa and Mandy and it's hard. I feel like you were better cut out for it.
Heather, I want you to know, you have been such a great example to me. I look up to you all the time. The way you did take care of us, I am so grateful for it. You are a big part of who I am today. You were one of the people who have shaped me into the person I am now. I can't thank you enough. Thank you for the example you have set for me. You truly are a wonderful sister.
As you have been out on your mission, I've realized how much I do rely on you. It's been hard because I can't just text you or talk to you when I need you. I have to wait, and it's hard on me. It's made me realize that I look to you a lot for advice. I love our talks Heather. I remember when we went to Paris's Farewell and you took me in the truck. That was one of the best days with you. Just you driving me around, talking, laughing. I also remember the first time you took me out on your Mo-ped. Oh my gosh, that was scary! Haha. You kept hitting my helmet with yours and making the ride scary for me on purpose because you knew I would get scared easily. Haha, but it was fun.
And when you took me to Mountain View for my show, I remember that. I don't think I ever thanked you for that. So, thanks. Even though I froze, I was so grateful that you came through for me and took me when mom couldn't. You've done that a lot. You are always there for me. I don't know what I'd do without you. You so great Heather. I love you with all my heart! Thank you for all the memories from the past 16 years. They are so great, and I love them. I smile thinking of all the great times we had, playing pat-a-cake, laughing, talking about triangles when we're tired, our drives with each other, our little night parties we had when mom was gone, everything. It's been great. All of it. And I couldn't ask for a better older sister, one who has taught me about life, love and so much more. You truly are a great daughter of God and I know not only our Father in Heaven is proud of you, but Dad is very proud of you, as am I. I love you, and I will always need you. Thank you for everything Heather. I couldn't be happier having such a great older sister like you. I love you always! Remember that! Thank you so much for everything, I really do love and care for you.
Forever your sister,
Alissa Lopez ♥
07/26/12Dear Halle,
Hey, so I just want to start out by saying how great this past year has been! You seriously are a great friend, my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you! You keep me from going too insane, you always have my back, and I can trust you.
Yeah, we have had our fights, but we stick with each other in the end. When things get rough, we take the time to talk things out and become even better friends, which I like about our friendship. I've never had a friend like you, and I'm so grateful for having you as my friend.
I'm so glad I got the courage to talk to you that day in P.E....even if you thought I was some crazy girl. Haha. I seriously thought you were going to be some shy girl, but boy was I wrong. Haha, you are great though. :D
Haha, I remember at your birthday party when we watched that scary movie, I was frightened to walk home, and you didn't want to be alone. Haha, so I just slept over at your house. Haha, thinking back at that movie...it's not as scary as I made it seem like that night. Haha. Oh well...I'm just like that. Like with the movie from when we went to Stasia's house. Oh my gosh, I was sooo scared, haha you were too, but now that I've seen it a few times, it really isn't that scary.
I loved having English with you last year. It was fun and I always had somebody to talk with. Although...after a while, things did get a little weird in that class. Which you started! Haha. Okay, I'll take part of the blame, but still :P
Halle, thank you for always being somebody I can trust. Trust is a big deal to me. I've had a lot of trouble with it in the past, and when I find somebody I can trust, it means a lot to me. I know I can always trust you, and I want to thank you for that.
I also want to thank you for always having my back. I can always count on you being there to stand up for me. Like with 'you know who' this summer. Thank you for all that you said to try to keep them off my back. Thank you for defending me and thank you for helping me feel better about it. It's a rare thing to find true friends and I have been blessed with so many of them. Thank you so much for sticking with me.
Oh gosh, all the fun we've had this past year. It's been one of the best years. We've had many laughs and lots of teasing each other...and slapping, my slap buddy :P Haha.
When we got into that huge fight last year, I was afraid we would never get past it. I tend to let my anger get to me and take over, as I'm sure you've seen many times, and I was afraid I took it too far and it would have costed me my best friend. I'm so grateful that we were able to talk it out and learn from it. That's a true friend, and it made me realize what a great friend you really are.
Even seeing how you still want to be friends with that certain girl, how you keep reaching out to her, even if she shuts you down. That shows me that you care about your friends. You are a genuine girl and like I've said, a great friend. Not only to me, but to others around you.
Halle, thank you so much for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you. You are simply amazing. I don't know how life will turn out, but you have changed how I look at things. You are a big part of my life, after all, you are my best friend, my long lost twin :)
You seriously have just been there for me a lot this past year. When things got hard, you were there. When I broke down, you helped pick up the pieces. When I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, you helped me through it. You are my best friend. I will never forget you, no matter what.
I hope I have been just a good a friend to you, as you have been to me. I am always here for you Halle, I will always listen. When you need to talk, I'll always be here. You know that. Thank you so much for the memories you have given me. It's great looking back at all we've been through together. We've had a lot of fun, and I'm sure there is more to come :D There better be!
As you know, I'm a quote fanatic, so I just want to leave you with some quotes that I like. Thank you so much for everything Halle. You will never be forgotten, I hope you know that :)
"Sometimes we say we hate each other, or we get in stupid fights, but in the end I know you and I will always be friends."
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." -Anonymous
"What is a friend? A friend is someone who you think your life would be different if they didn't exist. A friend is someone who never leaves you out, you are always included when you are with them. A friend is there for you no matter what." -Unknown
"Don't ever be afraid to come to me and cry. Don't ever hesitate to look me in the eye. Don't ever be afraid to tell me how you feel. Remember your my girl and we gotta keep it real." -Ashley Upchurch
Once again, thanks Halle. Thanks for always being there, even if I felt broken. Thanks for always lifting me up and making me feel better. Thanks for just being there, being a true friend, being my best friend. I love ya, and I thank you for everything. You are my bestie, and I'll always be here for ya! I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us, it shall be an adventure :P
Your twin,
Alissa Lopez ♥
07/27/12Dear Madilyne,
Hey, so as you know it's your birthday! Wow, it's weird to think that we are both this old now! I remember when I met you, we were like 12. Haha, that seems so long ago. Madilyne, I know we had a rough spot at one point, but I'm so glad we got through it. Really I am, not only because we are such great friends now, but also because I wouldn't have met such a great person had we not been friends. ;) And I would be missing out on a lot if we weren't friends, so I'm really glad we are friends! :DDD
You are such a sweet girl, Madilyne! You are so nice all the time. Seriously, and I know you are one of those who I can trust. I have shared many things with you and I know you have kept them all still. When I needed advice, you could give me some. Thanks for all that, you truly are just amazing! :D
Oh gosh, let's take a little stroll through memory lane, shall we? Haha, there have been quite a few good memories we've had. Like your bedroom, haha just kidding. But really that one day when I was over and I was looking at your yearbook...hm. Wow. Haha. And then there was always lunch time, great times. Haha, I loved our little walks around the school. Especially that one time when we were on the stairs and Sariah called out to that one person (you know who I'm talking about), and you just booked it up the stairs. Hahahaha. That was awesome. Oh my gosh, remember when Sariah was texting that same person on my phone that one day!!! Wow, that was weird. I still have their number in my phone! I think I told you about the random text I got from them that one day at lunch. Hahaha. Wow. We've had lots of laughs this past year. Band wouldn't have been the same without you or Sariah. I am so glad you were a part of my last year in band. It wouldn't have been as fun without you! You always made me laugh, especially when me and Sariah would awkwardly stare at you. Hahaha.
Madilyne, I hope you know that you really are one of my closest friends. This past year, you have stuck by me a lot and we've had lots of fun. I don't know what I would do if we weren't friends! I have no idea how different my life would be. I'm grateful for our friendship and the life it has lead me too. I would not be the same had we not been friends. You are such a unique girl! You are so sweet, kind, and loving to like everyone! Seriously!!! I don't remember ever hearing that you hate somebody, thinking about, really I can't think of a time you've said you hated somebody. That is just amazing!
Madilyne, you are a great example to me. I hope you know that I actually look up to you and the example you set. Like I've said, you are such a great girl and you're really sweet. And seriously, if I ever heard somebody saying otherwise, I wouldn't believe it. You've lived a life where if anybody were to say anything bad about you, it would be hard to believe, and that's incredible. I want to live a life like that. I really do look up to you though! You're sweet spirit and you forgiving manner. I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a great friend like you! You have strengthened me a lot this past year and have made me want to become a better person.
I hope that we can always be friends! You have taught me so much in just this past year, and I know you will continue to teach me more. Thank you for reaching out to me and being such a great friend, thank you for always being there for no matter what. You really are a great friend and you are like a walking definition of what a friend should be like. Thank you for teaching me so much, thank you for all the laughs we've shared and all the memories we have. I'm so excited to see what this year has in store for us, I can tell it will be a great year and there are going to be many more memories this year (ballroom). Thank you for everything Maddie-kins! :P Hehe, but seriously, I can't say thank you enough. I hope you realize how much of an impact you have had on my life. May you find such great joy in this life. I always wish you the best. Happy birthday Madilyne! I hope today is filled with joy, laughter, and such sweet memories! You deserve it! Have a wonderful birthday, girly! I love ya and I hope we may always be friends :)
Fluting together forever,
Alissa Lopez ♥
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